It’s that time of year again. A time to keep an eye on your dogs and
children if you live in a town like I do, where roaming deer are as common a
sight as scampering squirrels. Most of
the year these large and powerful brown-eyed animals are relatively bashful and
will stay out of your way. But we are
entering autumn, the Deer Season of Love.
The sensible doe
is generally not a concern unless she is protecting a vulnerable young’un. However the larger bucks have by now grown
their full tangle of antlers and are itching for some action. When in rut, the overly amorous males don’t
take kindly to any interference in their quest for a mate, so when you see one
of these horny fellows, you’d better give ‘em a wide berth. (Did you ever wonder about where the term ‘horny’
may have come from?) The buck’s sole job
for the next three months or so is to convince as many females as possible that
they would be a worthy contributor of DNA for their offspring – (“father” is
too strong a word for these promiscuous beasts). They won’t think twice before skewering a
barking dog or pinning an inconvenient human to a tree, just ask my Labrador.
You’ll see two
bucks in a face-off, locking horns and showing off for the does. Some of the females roll their eyes and walk
away in boredom. While others, usually
the younger and less experienced, watch this ridiculous display of manhood with
excitement. These bucks must show their
alpha status by standing their ground, showing off their impressive rack of
antlers and outshining competitors in order to spread their seed among the
local herd. The younger, smaller bucks
have to pick their battles. They mostly
let the big boys get the attention while they practice and learn, only
occasionally getting lucky with a doe.
Sounds
familiar, doesn’t it? After all, humans
are animals too.
It all starts in middle school, when
boys’ antlers are merely nubs. The young
male humans constantly try to out-obnoxious each other to gain attention. The more adolescent girls that giggle or run
away, they figure, the better – at least they got their attention. Then in high school the boys’ horns are more
visible as they try to outperform one another in organized sports. Donning grass-stained uniforms, they strut
around with shoulders thrown back in their attempt to get the girls to notice
and blush, and accept a ride home in their beat-up jalopy. Of course the level of “hotness” of the car
the boy drives has direct correlation to number of rides accepted – maybe the
car is the human version of antlers?
Stop by any tavern in any college
town and you will witness quite a display of humans in rut. Often the young men are boisterous and loud,
competing in pool games and dart throwing competitions. The young females will be sprinkled
throughout the room, discreetly watching the display and weighing the pros and
cons of each alpha male.
If your trip down memory lane doesn’t
jibe with the above dating scene, remember the example of Rudolph the Red Nosed
Reindeer. He wasn’t allowed to play in
the reindeer games, but he eventually found his voice and stood up for equality
and acceptance…and he got the girl in the end!
There is more than one path to romance and love, and fortunately for
humans it is common for the nice guy to get the girl in the end.
Luckily for humans, we tend to be
monogamous and mate for life, and therefore spend only a short period of our
lives acting like fools to win love. Once
we have our mate it merely takes a little kindness and affection to snuggle up
with our loved one. The poor deer have
to go through the dreaded dating scene every autumn for their entire lives in
order to get lucky!
So if you are one of the lucky ones,
take some time during this crisp and cool season for some kindess, affection
and a snuggle. In the meantime, keep
your dogs on leash and an eye on your adventurous children!
(On a similar note, enjoy an account of a fourth grade class receiving a sex-ed lesson from some amorous deer: http://isfulloflife.blogspot.com/2013/04/deer-mating.html)
DISCLAIMER: I am
merely a nature lover, not a scientist.
All statements made about any species are simply my own uneducated
observations mingled with a smidge of research on Wikipedia. Never take my words as Truth!!!
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