Monday, October 21, 2013

A Message to Arachnophobes – Get Over It!




            Spiders are people too.  Well…if we disregard the six extra legs, the fact that their bones are on the outside of their bodies and they live on insect guts…okay, they’re NOT people.  But with a little education maybe we humans can get over our irrational phobia of creepy-crawly things and we could offer the spider some respect.

            I was raised to respect the spider.  Not by my parents, but by my big brother Jim.  Nearly a decade my senior, Jim is a natural-born teacher.  You’d never find him in a classroom, though, because he is too shy.  And regular teachers have to teach ordinary stuff and Jim loves to talk about the extraordinary.  My childhood was filled with hours of ‘lessons’ ranging from the best rock and roll bands, creatures large and small/cute and creepy, to the human history of ancient torture methods.

            For whatever reason, Jim had a special affection for spiders.  Upon entering his bedroom you would see shoeboxes lining his shelves and dresser.  A closer look at each box would reveal a little spider habitat protected by a stretched out piece of cellophane, a perfect window for viewing.  He kept a variety of spiders to observe and feed.  I was often enlisted to collect live food for these eight legged beauties. 

I would watch in fascination as the orb-weaving garden spider would prance out to the edge of her web to tackle and wrap-up a fly to save for a later meal.  Who needs tupperware?  When hungry, she would inject the mummified fly to liquefy its innards, and then delicately sip her bug smoothie for dinner.

My favorite was a fellow named Wolfgang.  He was the kind we often call a wolf spider, but was more likely a common house spider.  Wolfgang was a hunter rather than a web-weaver, meaning he stalked his prey, captured it on the move and brought it back to his lair for a feast.  Wolfie favored a small matchbox in his habitat, with the drawer slid part way open, in which to eat and rest.  I never was able to see him catch a meal but I always found his leftovers.  After a tasty meal of fleshy bug, he would sweep out the too-crunchy legs and wings into a neat little pile just outside of his matchbox.

Jim would also show me how some fellers have amazing eyesight.  You know the cute little stripy guys that hang out around windowsills and potted plants?  We call those Jumpers.  For spiders they have really good vision and we would test them by moving a finger back and forth several inches away.  The little guys would shuffle and track our fingers around and around.  Watching them hunt is a real treat.  They’ll watch and track an unsuspecting insect until the time is right and then LAUNCH in a lightning fast hop!  And the bug never knew what hit it.  If a human had those hops, we’d be able to jump right over our own roofs!


You might still be thinking, I don’t care about all of this – I still hate spiders.  I say, Get Over It.  The fact is, most spider species are not capable of biting through human skin.  It is a fact that almost all of the wounds we blame on spiders are not spider-bites at all – they are most likely skin infections brought on by an insect bite or other abrasion.  Certainly their eight-legged crawl can send shivers down our spines, but just imagine what we look like to them?  Giant, fleshy rolling pins ready to squish the life out of them, that’s what we humans are to the spiders.  They just want to mind their own business, catch some flies and find a mate.  It’s not our right to smash them on the spot, just because they give us the creeps.

Next time scoop up that house spider in a cup and throw him outside to find a new home.  Or if that beautiful garden spider is blocking your door, find a stick and relocate her and her web to a nearby bush.  She will consume her broken web and recycle it into a brand-new orb– isn’t that nifty?  And they will all stay busy gobbling up all of the insect pests that truly are our enemies.  Get it right and show that spider the respect she deserves.




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