That would
be me, only I’m not dead yet. And I don’t
plan to be among the deceased any time soon.
Unfortunately the end of my life is
inevitable and occasionally I think about what I will leave behind someday, what lessons
my children or students might say I taught them. I’m not talking shoe-tying or
arithmetic. Rather, will I be a voice in
their head that inspires them to do good things? Or will they merely remember my mistakes so
they can successfully avoid making them, too.
So one day in the future if my daughters, or one of the other children in my life, claim
they learned one of these nuggets of wisdom from me I will do a happy dance in
my urn. Better yet, they will confess to
it while I’m still around and kicking and I will truly celebrate. (And Mom and Dad – I thank you for teaching me these things, too!)
So kids…Listen
Up:
Perfection is a Myth. Like hanging a picture on the wall that never-seems-straight-from-all-angles so looking at it makes you crazy and you can’t-leave-it-alone
but can never-get-it-just right, seeking
perfection does not bring happiness. Don't try to hide that scar, but DO tell the story of the epic adventure when it happened. You are human. You might have a wart, a blemish, or
wrinkle. Every single thing that makes
us “not perfect” adds character to who we are.
I laugh too loud, am as graceful as a three-legged elephant and have unruly hair, but I do enjoy life! That’s good enough for me.
Be Proud of Yourself at
the End of Each Day. Take time to reflect on all the great stuff
you accomplished, but also pay attention to that nagging feeling that erupts
from time to time. That feeling that
comes when you didn’t help the scrawny kid when he dropped and splattered his lunch
across the floor while everybody laughed.
You can’t turn back time, but you can do better next time. If it is something you can fix, with an
apology or a ‘thank you’, then promise yourself to fix it tomorrow.
Be Kind. If somebody around you is acting like a butt-head, assume
they are having a bad day. An offer of
help, a tiny compliment or a kind word may turn them around. Of course, some people really ARE butt-heads
and you should just steer clear! Use
your best judgment, but never stoop to the butt-head level yourself.
Don’t Take Yourself Too
Seriously. Since we can’t be perfect we make
mistakes, say stupid things or embarrass ourselves. I try to keep my kids humble by embarrassing
them in public whenever possible.
Remember that by nature teenagers are embarrassed by their parents, so
why not make it count!? I like to sing
while shopping, make silly puns at every opportunity and call my kids by goofy nicknames. They have learned to not worry so much about
what people think of them. I like that.
Be Humble. This doesn’t mean that you can’t celebrate your greatness,
but don’t think you are better than someone else because of it. You aced that test? Betty got a C? She was probably up late playing her violin in
the symphony last night. We all shimmer
in the right circumstances.
Respect Living Things.
(Within reason, of course – parasitic mosquitos and ants swarming your
kitchen are free game as far as I’m concerned.)
It is not cute, funny or heroic to squish a small creature or harass a larger
one. Some people think my younger daughter
may have taken this one too far, as she has been known to “rescue” a fly from a
spider’s web to nurse it back to health.
But if an animal is not harming you (no matter how creepy it may be) and is minding its own business, you mind
YOUR own business and leave it be. And
if said animal is a pet of yours, it is your job to keep it healthy AND happy. Besides, spreading happiness feels good.
Some days I
see my kids spreading kindness and I feel like the best parent in the world! At other times, during those bickering-snarling scream-fests, it seems like we have a long way to go. All I can do is keep trying, modeling and
smiling, in hopes that our kids will be good people and do good things. Like a pocketwatch heirloom passed down to me, I hope to pass something meaningful on to the children in my life. And it ain't likely gonna be money!
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