Deer Mating

I’m ready to enjoy a Friday morning in my favorite fourth grade.  The bell has just signaled the start to the day and students are filing in from the hall, putting materials away and getting settled for a math quiz.  Silently, a pair of deer stroll by the window.  Deer are a common sight in this quiet corner of Washington State so that’s no big deal, barely worthy of some pointing and smiling from the sleepy children. These deer were exceptionally close to us, but that is still not too unusual around here.  But on this day, it is mating season and these particular creatures are feeling a bit frisky.

Within moments the larger of the two, the buck, decides to jump on the doe.  Immediately I hear squeals of excitement as all 27 students run to the window to watch the show.  Innocent questions arise, “What are they doing?” and “Are they fighting?”

‘Johnny’, the most…um…sophisticated of this group, the boy who decorated his writing notebook with a magazine collage of babes and hot-rods, wants to clarify exactly what’s going on.  In a loud and authoritative voice he leaves no doubt in anyone’s mind the details of what is going on just outside our classroom window.

The gasps and shrieks from the students temporarily distract the large mammals from their amorous interaction and they separate.  But only for a moment.  The doe takes a few steps away, looks over her shoulder at her mate and is quickly caught in another embrace.  Another squeal erupts from our classroom.  How do I gain control of this situation?

Later that day I spoke with the kindergarten teacher next door who was able to pass the event off to her students as two animals sharing a 'hug'.  The children enjoyed the moment and quietly returned to building block towers and coloring with fat crayons.  That was not an option in fourth grade.

Beat ‘em or join ‘em?  That is often the question of the substitute teacher.  I could try to beat ‘em; demand that they ignore the beasts - sit down and be quiet, or else!  Yeah...right.  I decided a better tactic would be to appeal to their love of anything dangerous, threatening or gory.

“Be careful around bucks this time of year,” I boomed my voice over the commotion.  “They can be dangerous during mating season.”

“What?”  It worked.  I had their attention.  They turned from the window to listen.

I told them how my family had learned this the hard way.  How two years before my dog had charged at a buck in rut (basically looking for love) and ended up a bloody mess at the vet.  Although it was a true story, I will admit I embellished…a lot.  Before long I had all the kids in their seats and riveted on my every word. 

VICTORY!

And time for a math quiz.

If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!