If that were true, half the
children in an elementary school would be running around in flames. But that’s a phrase we all know so well because
we’ve heard it and even said it countless times. It all starts in elementary school. Do you know why? Because those kids are constant little liars.
That, at first, sounds
horrible. Truly we aren’t raising a
generation of psychopaths. At this young
age there is a blurry line between truth and fiction. They’ve been raised with lies (tooth fairy,
Easter bunny, leprechauns to name a few) and play with lies every day through
their pretend play.
Of course, most untruths told by
children are the little white lies that even adults spout once in a while. Yes, you.
When was the last time you withheld the truth in order to save someone’s
feelings? Or told someone you were too
busy to meet for coffee when you really didn’t want to listen to so-and-so rant
for an hour about his co-workers?
Possibly daily.
Once you take out the white lies, there
is a huge range of untruths told by the youth.
Most of it is harmless. When a
kid says they have to go to the bathroom when they really just need a break
from math, I’m not going to call them out…unless it’s the fifth time in an
hour. “’Johnny, should I call your mom
to tell her you need your plumbing checked?” I might ask overly sweetly. That usually takes care of it. And the truth is often stretched like a big
ol’ piece of salt-water taffy in order to impress classmates, “Oh yeah? Well last year I got ten pounds of Halloween
candy and I ate it all in one night and I didn’t even throw up!”
I find that the most entertaining
of the lies are what I call The Occasional Doozy. These come from an otherwise reliable source
and they are so far out that it’s hard not to laugh out loud when the child tells
the story. Usually the student was just
caught doing something against the rules and has to cover their tracks. Unplanned, unbelievable and usually hilarious.
My favorite Doozy was when the bus
arrived one morning and all the kids were excited about the fact that ‘Jenny’
had a dead mouse in her pocket. It wasn’t
long before the word reached the office and ‘Jenny’ was summoned by the
principal. Mrs. T gently asked the young
girl if she had a dead mouse in her pocket and could she see it. Sure enough, ‘Jenny’ pulled out a limp and
furry lump that had four feet and a tail.
“Oh honey. We don’t bring dead things to school,”
Principal T said as she put her arm around the shoulder of the pink-clad
child. (Possibly my favorite school
quote, ever.) Only a skilled
professional can say something like that with a straight face.
‘Jenny’ explained that she found it
on the way to the bus stop. Sounds
honest, right? And then she proceeded to
explain that she absolutely needed to keep the mouse. Why? Because she and her mom collect dead animals,
skin them and send their skins to Canada.
Yep. This mouse skin was too
valuable to give up.
“And where do you get these dead
animals?” Mrs. T inquired.
“Oh, from around our house and
yard,” she answered.
The amazing Mrs. T was able to talk
some sense into ‘Jenny’ and the the two of them buried the small creature in
the school garden and bid it goodbye with a small ceremony.
I suppose that there is a teensy
chance that there was some truth hidden somewhere in this Doozy, but if that’s
the case, it’s a truth I don’t really want to know!
I’ll admit that I’m overstating the
prevalence of fibs from our children.
Our elementary schools are not filled with pathological liars. Many of the untruths we hear are based on
misunderstandings and the sweet, innocent misperceptions of underdeveloped
minds. Just keep your ears open next
time you spend time with little people and you just might hear a Doozy. No matter how tall the tales are, they’re
always entertaining.
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