The Character Test

When you meet someone for the first time, what are you thinking?  Are you looking at their outer beauty (because you are in heat and looking for a mate)?  Are you judging their social standing based on trivial things like expensive shoes or jewelry?  Or are you listening for some commonality, maybe a sport or hobby you share? You leave the encounter with various feelings; curiosity to know more, relief that you’ve gotten away or possibly simple indifference.  We all do it, whether we like it or not, usually without thinking.

My brother Mike thought about it, and he identified a test to judge the worthiness of a person as a friend.  He swore that this “Character Test” was flawless and it involved his large, smelly dog, Nellie.  Sure, Nellie started out as a cuddly, harmless puppy and then quickly grew into an enthusiastic 85 pounds of powerful muscle and slobber.  Nellie and Mike were always together.  She even came to work with him, where she would rest patiently in his truck until lunch when they would walk together and play with his students.

The Character Test went like this:  When a person first encountered Nellie, their entire worthiness as a human being would be judged by how they reacted to Mike’s best friend.  If the person took a wide berth and scowled = fail.  A fake smile and a finger-tip pet on the head followed by a hand wipe against jeans = fail.  Eye-contact with canine and a genuine smile = pass.  Hand out for a sniff and compliment on dog’s attractiveness = A-/B+.  Stop, pet, 5 minute conversation about breed, dog parks and chew toys = A+!

Nellie, you must understand, was a beast.  Mike refused to take her through traditional obedience training because he believed it would break her jovial doggie spirit.  Nellie was tall enough to counter-surf so you never left food in the kitchen unattended.  One time I had her on leash when she saw a squirrel.  We both flew at high speed until I realized the only way to stop the chase was to run smack into a thick hedge.  It hurt.  She was enthusiastic about everything.  In other words, to meet Nellie with grace took A LOT of character.

When you think about it, this test makes quite a bit of sense.  It’s the same reason why politicians love to be seen kissing babies.  You can buy nice clothes and rehearse witty jokes, but compassion and empathy are more difficult to fake. 

You’re thinking: Judged by my reaction to an ill-behaved mutt…really?  But it made total sense, for Mike anyway.  He was a rough-and-tumble outdoorsman who would rather be climbing mountains or sailing on the bay than trimming hedges or painting trim.  If you took a liking to his dog, you were more likely to enjoy his company as well.  On the other hand, if you had an aversion to dog hair and mud, you were not very likely to feel comfortable in Mike’s messy home, riding in his old-yet-quaint VW micro-bus or stomping on the trails with him and his four-legged pal.

So, do you have a character test?  The next time you meet someone new, what will be going through your mind?  And the next time you make a new acquaintance, one who may have an impact on your future, or one that you simply would like to get to know better, you might want to pet their dog.