The Best Dog Ever

I’ll bet that if you are smart enough to have a dog in your life that calls you their own, you hold the belief that YOUR dog is the best dog ever.  I’m sorry to disappoint you, but that is not possible.  Why?  Because MY dog, Riley Bean, is THE Best Dog Ever.

Close your jaw, un-slap your cheek and be prepared to stifle your disbelief because I am about to prove that my dog is the best.  First of all, my girl is not a cute little puppy, innocent of all things.  This dog has been around the block.  Foggy eyed and partially deaf, Riley is what we call mature. In fact, she is less than four months away from her Quinceañera.  And although there are countless reasons that she wins the Top Dog prize, I will list the top 5 here to prove my point.

1. Riley is always by my side.  Always.  When I’m sitting here on my computer she is within reach.  She can be found next to the stove, nose-a-twitching, when I’m sautéing beef.  At all times my loyal pooch will be right there.  Whether I’m sitting on the toilet, having an intimate moment with my honey or lacing my shoes for a run, my trusted pup is present and prepared for what ever might be coming next.  Especially when I’m cooking meat.

2. No need for a leash!  She doesn’t even wear a collar because I can trust her to heel for the entire outing (this might be due to my pocket filled with cookies that, more than occasionally, land in her mouth if she stays close by).  The only exceptions to this perfect behavior occur when a squirrel crosses our path, she gets a whiff of something interesting and follows her nose to somebody’s back yard, or she needs to take a dump but doesn’t want me to watch so she squats under the front window of a nice home and then I have to attempt a stealth retrieval, bread-bag on hand, before we both get caught and scolded.  But mostly she stays by my side on our daily walks.

3. Missy Perfect will only sleep on her dog beds or the carpet, and never jumps up on furniture.  In each of our main rooms she has her designated spots and is perfectly content to sleep on the soft pet beds.  There was just one winter when she was a little confused and was sure that the love seat was for her - after all it is the perfect size for a labrador.  Who could blame her?  Oh yeah, and the few times we caught her jumping on our bed because we had asked her to stay in there when we had people over for dinner.  I think when we said “stay!” she heard “play” - an honest mistake.  Otherwise she always sleeps on her own beds…when we are home.

4. Riley has never destroyed anything in the house.  In her whole life with us, (mind you, we adopted her as an adult so we have no puppy stories) Riley has never chewed a shoe, shredded a stuffed animal or scratched the floor or walls.  That one time when she ripped the cat-flap out of the door and chewed the surrounding wood was not really her

fault.  You see, we had gone to the neighbors for a barbecue where the sizzling meat smelled TOO delicious.  She thought we had forgotten about her and she didn’t want us to feel guilty for leaving her behind, so she found a way to get herself to the party without troubling us.  We forgave each other.  In the absence of such misunderstandings, we can trust her with anything.

5. She would never raid the garbage can.  Unless we leave it out in the middle of the floor - that would be an invitation and completely our own fault.  And when she raids the kids’ bedroom garbage cans for dirty kleenex (gag) it just means that the human girls are slacking and need to clean their rooms.  Nope, our Riley is no garbage eater!

Now, you might be saying, “My dog does all of those things and more!”  Well…does your dog gaze at you with twinkling eyes that say I love you with all my heart?  Or is your puppy so happy when you come home that he/she wiggles uncontrollably from nose to toes, quivering with pure joy?  Okay, okay.  So maybe, just maybe, your pooch can pull these things off to an adequate level that pleases you.

You can love your own dog and believe what you want to believe, but I know one thing for sure.  My dog, Riley Bean, is the Best Dog Ever.