Reading the Waves

 I was a latchkey child in the early 70's, but don’t shed any tears for me. In my case, it was awesome. My mom was driven and needed to prove herself in the big, wide world, so for 12 hours a day we Stone kids were left to our own devices. As long as we had our chores done and dinner on the table when our working parents arrived home from their long commute, everyone was happy. I had 5 older siblings to play with or to boss me around - the pecking order kept things in line.

Our creaky 100 year old house with one shower for 8 people was located smack in the middle of Caledonia Cove - a rocky, barnacled beach around the corner from the Port of Tacoma. Summers were the best. We spent so much time on the beach and in the water - floaty toys, wet suits, rubber rafts and a rowboat - all central to my childhood  memories.

Often we would watch the shipping traffic, keeping an eye out for a good wake on which to play.  A big ship loaded high with shipping containers coming into port might create a row of waves that, when we floated on the surface of the water on an inflatable toy, make our stomach jump into our throats over and over and over again - bobbing out of control until the ripples petered out and the water was smooth again. On one occasion I remember losing sight of my sister as we both dropped into the valleys between two waves and I could only see the wall of water around me…until we both rode to the top of our respective wave and squealed to one another. Not all wakes were the same. Some tugboats pulling a log-boom were too slow to carve a path deep enough and by the time the waves reached the shore they were little more than disappointing ripples on the surface of the water. But others with a faster pace and deeper load could carve huge, high swells that would eventually roll into our bulkhead with thunderous crashes and sprays of white foam. Those were the waves we watched and waited for.

Today, many decades after those childhood memories were carved into my brain, I returned to the cove to send the last remnants of some loved ones back to that place we loved so much. My mother passed 3 years ago, my dad 6 years, and we lost my big brother to meningitis 19 years ago. As a family, we had ceremoniously scattered some of their ashes together, but we also divvied them up for each of us to deal with in our own, personal way. I had felt the need to hold onto my portion, although I’m still trying to figure out why - maybe the dread of letting go? I do know that now I have come to realize that it’s the memories that matter and not the things, the physical things that increasingly feel like they are weighing me down.

There was a light fog and the water was so glassy and still. We navigated the rounded, wave-
smoothed rocks and pebbles down to the shore, stopping to pick up the perfect skipping rocks, rounded and flat, to see how many splashes we could get with one skilled toss. As we walked I noticed a fast moving tug, with no load, heading around the lighthouse into the port. We found a spot and pulled out the ashes, mixing my mom and dad and brother together, right at the lip of the lapping water. But I was worried that as the tide went out, they would be left there in a soggy heap, instead of washing out to sea.

I said that we should wait until that wake comes to wash them away. Mark asked me, “What wake?” I pointed out the line of churning water-ribbon far out in the shipping lane that appeared to be following the long-gone tug boat. Then he saw it.  We paused and just a couple of minutes after I said how fun it would be to see a sea lion or otter, a huge dark sea lion, not more than 15 meters from us, appeared seemingly out of nowhere from the water with a big exhale, and then took a deep breath as he gracefully disappeared under the surface. Thank you, sea lion, for that gift.

We waited a few minutes until the waves came - little bumps in the water at first, then growing - crashing on the rocks of the lighthouse first as they worked their way down the beach to the ashes. The perfect waves. After ten or fifteen rolling crashes, the dust of my family members disappeared and completely integrated back into the nature we all loved so much. It turned out to be the perfectly perfect day - not dreadful or sad - just peaceful and reflective - much like the calm, silvery surface of the Salish Sea.

Going Backward

Every day my pups and I head out for an hour or so to release the poops and the Ya-Yas before I head to work and they laze about at home. Depending on the time of year, we may revel in the sunrise or enjoy the chorus of birds looking for love, or like today - view the path through a cylinder of foggy light shining from my headlamp.

We are fortunate enough to be surrounded by an urban trail system and have several routes to choose from. We try to vary the routes daily to stave off any boredom of "the usual". We all enjoy seeing a pair of glowing eyes of a night critter in the dark brush or the deep thuds beneath our feet as a group of deer flee our threatening presence. For Meg and Dobby and their talented noses, varying the route can bring sniff perks as well.  Duck poop by the pond is always a favorite, and the occasional beaver scent gives them a huge puppy-thrill. The forested trails bring familiar odors of squirrel, deer, and raccoon crossings with dog nostrils pressed against the leaves, brains calculating how much time has passed since the animal crossed the path. The most exciting walks include a coyote sighting/smelling and we have to pause as they inspect the area with their noses squished against anything the wild dog-relative may have stepped on, touched with its own snout or brushed with its gamey fur.

On this particular morning, lacking the sensory expertise of my pups, I decided I was bored and chose to take a trail BACKWARD!  This choice strangely felt revolutionary because we tend to stumble out the door in a sleepy brain fog and follow a route the way we have always followed a route. When I turned right instead of left, I felt a tug on the leashes. Dobby, my nervous one, looked up at me and I swear I saw her lips muttering, "but...but....we can't do that!". With my patient encouragement she and Meg led the way DOWN a trail that we normally climb UP.  

After the initial confusion, the pups fell back into their rhythm of trot, sniff, trot, pee, sniff and all was well.  It was ME who felt bewildered.  When we reached a turn, my brain said, "How are we here already?"  Descending a muddy trail that we normally climb, I was surprised at the pitch and slippy-slidey mud, and was forced to pay attention to where and how I stepped - actually using my conscious brain to navigate the terrain.  Once back to the alley that led home, I viewed homes and gardens from a completely different perspective, as if it wasn't my familiar neighborhood of the last 20 years.

This walk felt different. We were no longer stuck in the rut of the same-old-same-old. We appreciated different things from new perspectives. After we returned home, my dogs settled into the snoring of paw-twitching dreams, and I noticed that my brain was refreshed with a new approach to the day.  Maybe the word "backward" gets a bad rap. When we are bored or feeling "stuck", simply turning a different way, taking the opposite direction on an old path or looking at life from a new angle can bring a fresh outlook on the old and familiar. 

On the journey through our days

Backward or Forward

It's our choice how to view it

(Remember - your backward could very well be someone else's forward!)

Happy New Year from the Stone-Kerrs

Apparently it t'is the season for family update holiday cards and we're late to the party. In fact, we've never done one of these, but after reading others', I thought I'd take a stab at it:

The Stone-Kerrs are alive and well, enjoying all the good that Bellingham has to offer!

Ella turned 24 on February 24th 2024, which makes it not only her golden birthday, but she was born in the auspicious Year of the Golden Dragon in 2000, which only happens once every 60 years. But the Dragon year comes every 12 trips around the sun, so this makes it her own personal Golden Dragon year, making it, like, a double-golden

amazing year!  That must have worked, because she landed a job she loves, starting as the Assistant Manager at Claire's (we called her the A** Man for short) and then quickly promoted to Store Manager (now we call her Boss B*tch for short...and for fun).  She is just as sweet and sparkly as ever and spreads joy to many little girls!

Delaney continues to kick butt in the gym, and in fact is the Senior Wellness Coordinator at BP. She is employed by Premise Health to run the gym, help people get strong, do ergonomic consultations and teach classes to the many workers at the refinery.  I know many folks that work there and let me tell ya - it can get annoying hearing about what an amazing and kind daughter we have...and how much she kicks their asses in workouts.  Also Lou (that is what we call her) is wrapping up her master's degree at the University of Glasgow, where she spent a few weeks on labs in-person, but does the rest of the work remotely.  In her free time she enjoys getting trapped under her lap-cat, Geraldine, seeing Taylor Swift and hanging out with her partner, Michael.

Mark is enjoying his third year teaching at Lummi Nation School, inspiring kids with history, silliness and occasional costumes. This year he coached the XC team to a first ever team score (you need 5 kids to score and they had never had a full team!) and took a talented young athlete to compete at the State XC Championships.  The only drawback of Mark teaching at a tribal school is that we've pretty much given up hope of him EVER cutting his hair again....

I (Sharon) am still working at the YMCA with Girls on the Run, but have shifted a good chunk of my focus to grant writing for the Y.  It has been a fun change, and it feels good to use my writing hobby to do some good in the world.  I get to deep-dive into the many human service programs we have at the Y, talk 'em up and bring in financial support for the work we do in the local community.  AND I still get to spread joy to little girls with GOTR - which brings me a heck of a lot of joy too!

Meg-the-prey-driven-dog has lost her off-leash privileges due to an injured knee and me growing weary of tracking her GPS all over Galbraith for hours on my trail runs.  She and her adorable daughter, Dobby, still enjoy daily long leash walks on local trails.  Lyra the cat is...well...a cat - she's sweet and quiet, except for at 4:30 in the morning when she makes a racket, stomps on my chest and head butts me until I get up.  Alfie the turtle continues to entertain us with his ball chasing and toe-biting, but if you ask the other pets, he's just the annoying little jerk that bites them when they are napping by the fire.

We hope this finds you smiling and healthy and ready to tackle the upcoming year with gusto!

Lyra, Dobby, Meg and Alfie in descending order.